It's a little crazy to think that it's been a month; a month since I came to down to Miami for the first time; a month since I came to scope out ECWF as a potential employer; a month since my relationship with Lacey began, and everything that kicked off as a consequence of that. It doesn't seem like that was a month ago...it doesn't seem like it's been that long already, but I guess when you spend the better part of your life travelling these days...I guess when you spend more time in a plane than you do in your own bed, more time on a train than at home, life passes you by pretty quick.
I still remember the day I flew back home...I still remember the drive to the airport, SHOCKINGLY quiet in comparison to the rest of the trip, where we'd practically been schoolgirls, giggling and talking nonsense with each other the entire time. I didn't know what to say; there was so much in my head at the time, I'm still not 100% certain about what was really going on. I'm pretty sure she couldn't make herself say anything; as tight as she was gripping the steering wheel, it looked like she was just trying to contain herself in the first place.
But, I’d thought, my time in Miami was basically up...at least for the moment. I’d talked with Mo Singh VERY briefly about the possibility of coming on board, but once the lawyer talk started coming out, I’m pretty sure my eyes spun back into my head; I’ve never been good at that kinda thing, and I’m well aware of that, so I left with little more than the possibility on the table--and with my lack of experience, with my CV that had exactly nothing on it except a decent record in a couple, smaller companies, it didn’t look hopeful to me.
Regardless of what they thought of me, regardless of whether they had any interest in a 20 year old Brit with no accomplishments to her name at the time, I had to go home...I had business to take care of, both professional and personal after that week; I already worked for three different companies at the time, and Pro Wrestling: FRONTIER was running a one-night tournament for a shot at the GFC World Championship; I debuted with them, the GFC title is the one I’ve wanted to win since I made my debut in Belfast...I couldn’t miss the tournament. It was my first chance to earn a shot at any title, in any company...
But she made it...really hard to want to leave.
“I’ll miss you.”
Three words and a kiss...that was all it took to form a pit in my stomach; that was all it took to make it so I could barely keep myself together through security. Apparently, there’s nothing more suspicious in an international airport than a crying foreigner...I learned that the hard way that day; no less than five passengers on three different flights tried to report me to one of those... would-be police that stand around and act like they’re important. Apparently it’s impossible for a Brit to feel emotion. Honestly…
But if I thought the flight was hard...it was nothing in comparison to the next two weeks; it was nothing in comparison to having to confront Christina when I got home, to tell her about what happened...and her reaction to it. Pretty sure I had a decent palm print on my cheek for a couple days. It’s never easy to tell someone a story like that, but...this one was particularly hard; I thought it was worse in my head because of my own past, I thought I’d be my own worst critic...not to say she’d be happy about it, but...I always figured, long after she’d moved on, I’d be beating myself up over it.
But it got worse. A LOT worse...ruined a good friendship’a mine in the process...big brother protecting little sister, as it turned out...made for one’a the more uncomfortable confrontations I’ve ever had to deal with, and even worse that nothing came of it...couldn’t so much as get a word in before he cut me off. I guess, to some extent, I deserved it...but a chance to explain might’a been nice.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any harder, though...just when I thought my personal life was my biggest challenge, trying to get a friendship back on course and figure out where I’m heading...just when I thought I could use wrestling to vent a little frustration...Revenge happens. More to the point...Gwen Massey happens...I wouldn’t call life settled by then, I wouldn’t say I was heading in a particular direction...I knew I was signing with ECWF by then, I just had to get someone that could talk lawyer to hammer out the details and translate it from bloody Greek into something I can understand; I knew I was with Lacey, that it was more than a little week tryst, like so many people had told me I’d fall for before I even came to visit...
I may not have been settled, but I at least had myself moving that way.
And then Revenge happened.
She’d probably tell you her plan went perfectly, and regardless of if she knew what was coming, she certainly got her way by the end of the night...a new official, apparently approved, made her way down, counted the fall that handed her the United States Championship...after Lacey got away from the attack in the ring, she opted to go about her plan from behind, a crowbar to the back of the neck left Lacey out, and Massey trying to make a point by taking the World Championship and holding it up…
Amazing what people will do over titles.
You could say I might be partially to blame for it; I could’ve stopped Lacey that night, I could’ve pushed her off and the drama hovering around my life might not be happening...it’s easy to look at that decision...MY decision not to stop her, and say it might have caused all this...this torment in my own head, friendships splintering, attacks...it’s easy to look at that one decision like a bloody Choose Your Own Adventure story...I turned to the wrong page, and this is what came of it.
But let’s call it what it is--Gwen didn’t attack Lacey over anything I did or didn't do; if she had been THAT upset that day, she wouldn’t have waited 2 weeks. If she had been angry at me, she wouldn’t have wasted time with some plan that she doesn’t even know if I was going to see or not...she did what she did over the World Championship. She feels like she’s owed a match...and, apparently, she’s done waiting.
I won’t lie and say the thought that she might be waiting for a chance to cold-cock me as well wasn’t lingering in the back of my mind...or that any number of other people could be waiting to do the same, get under Lacey’s skin, earn favour with whoever wanted her taken out, or however they justified it to themselves...but in the end, my job is to focus on what’s at hand: Aiden Corvis, and my ECWF debut.
I have to put everything else out of my mind, at least from bell to bell, good and bad...the disappointment of the FGA supershow, the loss in the GFC title tournament...then the 45 minute Commonwealth Championship match in FRONTIER on Sunday, the 25 minute fight to open Fight Club: UK on Thursday...Massey, Chaz, Christina, Lacey, everything else going on...even other ECWF matters...War Games, whatever that match entails, and what, if any, my involvement is going to be...
I can’t worry about any of it, I can’t bring any of it with me.
I have to focus...because I know after Revenge, Aiden’s got a point to prove...
Thing about it is...so do I.
---------------
"I don't have a name in this country, it seems like..."
Mia stops and pauses for a second, giving the camera a chance to focus into picture. We're in a fairly plain hotel room, with Mia sat back against the headboard of the bed, her legs stretched out in front of her, head pressed back against the wall even as she starts to talk, vaguely directed toward the camera.
"...at least, not outside airports and hotels. Basically, if I gotta show my passport...In FGA, I'm Laurel Anne Hardy's friend, I'm Annie Zellor's friend, I'm...well...I was Chaz Holiday's friend. I'm not so sure about that one anymore..."
Mia's tone drops a little as she puffs her cheeks out, breathing out a tiny sigh. She shakes her head a little bit, curling one leg in close and wrapping an arm around it, lowering her head to actually look toward the camera.
"To most of the ECWF audience...and, hell, most of the roster, I'm just Lacey Allen's girlfriend...nothing else. Most of you have never so much as seen my face, but you've got assumptions about me...Hell, they'd barely announced I had signed and I was getting 'you only got hired cuz of Lacey; they wouldn't know who you are if you hadn’t...'
"Damn, how was it said…? Oh yeh, '...jumped in the champion’s bed.' Piss off...
"But maybe it's true...maybe it's true that, without Lacey, I don't end up signed here. Maybe it's true that, without her, I don't make it down to Miami, I'm not a part of this company...honestly, I don't know; I had this place on a shortlist of companies I wanted to wrestle at for a while...ECWF’s been a place that’s had my attention for a few months now, but who knows if they so much as had me on the radar...suppose it’s a moot point now, signed and booked, ain’t I?
"Did Lacey help open the door?"
Mia shrugs a shoulder upward just enough to be seen, kinda nonchalantly acknowledging her own question.
"Of course.
"But...I'm much, much more than Lacey's new girlfriend. I'm not just some girl that grabbed hold of Lacey's coattails and is riding then as far as they'll take me...I'm not just looking to get my name out by having it attached to someone more successful. I’m not the type to go begging for anything...if you think my goal in coming here was to get fucked, get hired, and laugh at anyone else...then you know absolutely nothing...about me.
"I'm a fighter, in every sense of the word. I always have been, far back as I can remember; whatever you may think of how I came or who helped me get here, if I wasn't good enough...I wouldn't have bothered to come. If I wasn't good enough, I wouldn't have wasted anyone's time; I wouldn't have been given a shot, least of all against someone that just fought fit the World Title in his last match...if I wasn’t good enough, I wouldn’t be sitting here recording this right now. I got put in this match because someone, somewhere in the higher-ups in this place, looked at me and said ‘sign her.’”
She had to take a second, just to take a breath and re-compose herself, reaching up to rub between her eyes, across the bridge of her nose.
"I came here because I know I’m good enough to be here--where most people work one match, then take a two week break, I’m lucky if I get two days; where most people need to rest and recover, stay in their own homes and sleep in their own beds, I’m lucky if I see home in a week...I spend a lot of my time on the road, I wrestle 3, sometimes 4 matches in the same time frame that most people wrestle one…
“And more often than not? I win.
“I know I’m good enough to be here...I know I’m good enough to compete, I know I’m good enough to get my name out there on my own...I don’t need help from anyone on that front...and I’m not trying to say no one else is; I’m not looking to “take someone’s spot,” or jump ahead in line...I hope all of ya get up; hell, most’a ya probably already should be…
“But I won’t apologise for busting my arse twice, three times as much as most people. I won’t apologise for getting a foot in the door, because I’ve spent time in cellars...I’ve spent time in nowhere, looking up as other people get opportunities I felt should’a been mine...I’ve been on the outside looking in, I’ve scratched and clawed just to make end’s meet...never mind in-ring, I’ve been there, struggling just for food, waiting for the chance that never seemed to be coming.
“I’ve fought my way from the very bottom...where no-one so much as knows my name and even fewer care, to get where I’ve gotten to. But that doesn’t stop it...even the people who supposedly respect me can’t avoid the comparison; they still don’t see me...they just see...whoever I’m supposed to be this week...whoever’s around, and whatever I am to them--they only see Lacey’s girl or Laurel’s friend or...whatever.”
Mia draws her lower lip into her mouth briefly, clicking her tongue once or twice. She reaches up, brushing a stray bit of hair out of her face, taking a moment to catch her breath, eyes closing momentarily.
"Aiden Corvis...I was at Revenge, mate. I saw the match. And I'll give you all the credit in the world, you were impressive. Right up until the match went tits up, I was impressed. It looked like you had Lacey on the ropes, and who knows...different occasion, you might have that belt slung over your shoulder today.
"And as a fan...I hated how the match happened. I wanted to see how it played out; I won't lie to you and say I was rooting for ya, mate, I'm sure you get that...but as a fan, I wanted to see if you could pull it off. I wanted to see if you were the one that could take Lacey down. In that respect...I'm sorry for what happened, and I know, you're prolly still more'n a bit pissed about it; prolly lookin'a work some'a that pent up aggression out on the first person handed to ya...can't say I'd blame ya. If it were me, I don’t think I’da come down from it yet...
"But if you think you're getting some doe in the headlights...if you think I'm scared after seeing what happened at Revenge, or that I'm intimidated to step in an ECWF ring instead of an FGA ring or a FRONTIER ring...you’re in for a rude awakening, mate. You think, coming into this match, you got a point to prove...you need to make a statement, to prove something to everyone who’s still doubting you after Revenge...trust me, I get it, you don’t want people doubting you.
“For whatever this is worth...I am looking forward to Monday. You’re exactly the kind of opponent I look forward to: someone with something to fight for. Not just because they’re getting paid, not just because they’re on the card, but something they really HAVE to fight for, their own cause...whatever it may be. It makes a fight more interesting, it makes a match more passionate...it makes it MEAN something. I like that...
“But this match, on Monday? This match isn’t going to be that catharsis you need, Aiden...sorry, mate, but I’m not going to let it be. I’m not going to be the one you let all that aggression out on; I’m not going to be the one that gets put down because your title match didn’t go your way, regardless of what you have to prove. Monday night is my chance to show I belong here--my chance to show I didn’t get hired for who I know, but WHAT I know.
“I can’t let that slip by.”
Mia starts to reach to turn the camera off...then draws her arm back, biting at her bottom lip momentarily. Eventually, though, she shakes her head, reaching out again and hitting the power button, fading the scene to black.
No comments:
Post a Comment